“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." - Cyril Connolly

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

What if I Don't Wanna Cherish Those Moments?

"Remember these days; they are only little once."

"Cherish these moments. You will never get them back."

"Hold on to these times. You'll miss them where they are gone."

It seems as though my Facebook page as been inundated when these types of articles and blog posts about cherishing those moments while your children are little. Well, frankly, I am about sick of them. You must understand. I  LOVE my children.  I would move the heavens and earth for them if it meant them never getting hurt or sick. And as much as I loved them during their baby stages, I do not- repeat- do NOT miss the days of cleaning up spit-up, crying through the night, sleepless nights, baby-proofing everything in bubblewrap, teething, potty-training.  I am glad it is in the past. Will I forget them? Probably not. Do I want to keep them little forever? No to that, too.

To me, and it is probably just my interpretation of these sentiments, there are too many people already living in the past:  "I miss their little toes."  "I miss their smell."  "Why can't they stay little forever?"  Couple that with all the imagining and pressure we put on the kids about the future, and we forget to celebrate who they are now.

Enjoy the NOW moments. I know I could hold my little girl in my arms and just hold her forever. But you know what, she can sit on my lap now with her arms around me, and we can have a conversation about her day. Her wants. Her fears. Her own visions for her life.

My son, now 7, just lost his first tooth.  A milestone.  Celebrate THAT.  He was the cutest baby ever, but he is growing into a handsome young man today. I know I can't get those little moments back, but I don't think they are any more important than the moments we are having now.

My littlest, finally officially potty-trained over six months now.  Hooray.  I want to celebrate what is to come.  How everyday, I can understand him a little more. He has a major speech articulation issue that requires speech therapy. I would trade those frustration tantrums of not being able to communicate his needs and wants.

I do get sentimental but only when I realize how far they have come, not because I miss how little they were.  I don't think it was any easier than now, or even easier now than then.  Parenting is hard no matter what stage you are in.  I just want to help my little ones celebrate today without regret of their past selves or and without fear of the future.  I want them to know I love them now.

- Carol

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