“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." - Cyril Connolly

Friday, May 22, 2015

Pushing through the Disappointments

This will come to no surprise, but life is filled with disappointments, and those disappointments suck.

 I know I should use my educated brain to come up with a more dignifying word, but this one fits.

Disappointments suck.

In fact, they can be down-right crippling.

I have trying to get back into the classroom for about 3 years now. My teaching certificate is still good, and just about everybody in the family is in school full time. So, I interviewed for a job that I really, really wanted. I mentally prepared myself. I reviewed possible interview questions. I am qualified for the job.

I didn't get it.

The person who was offered the job has more experience in an extracurricular activity that I truly do not have. (Insert cries of self-pity and moans of bewilderment). Despite my efforts, I really got my hopes up for this job. I was even preparing some materials for next year. Okay, fine, I started a secret Pinterest board. For lack of better phrases, I counted my chickens; I put the cart before the horse; I crossed the bridge before I got there.  (See, I could even teach a lesson on idioms)

I was devastated. In all honesty, I am still not over it. I keep reminding myself that it is not in God's plan right now, but that still doesn't mean I fully understand it.  That is where faith and trust come into play.  Of course, the main Bible verse that comes to my mind is:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11

I can only trust that while it is in God's will for me not to get this job, it is also in God's will for the other teacher to get it.  I pray that He takes away my sadness and bitterness, so that I can encourage this new teacher.

I know I will get to a point sometime in the future, and I will look back and say, "Thank you!" I will see how His plan was perfectly timed. I will understand one small part of His plan for me. Until then, I will look to Him for comfort and guidance.

**UPDATE: I was offered a non-teaching job at this  school. I am grateful for the position and consider myself blessed beyond measure!**

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