“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self." - Cyril Connolly

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Life Returns to Semi-Normal

So I shipped Dad and two of the kiddos back to school today.  That leaves one, and he goes back tomorrow.  That means I get a little of my life back.  I know the holidays are supposed to be comforting and relaxing, but they are not. We have three birthdays in December with the latest on the 22nd.  After parties and cakes and birthday dinners, I am pooped.  Not to mention that we didn't even BEGIN to start shopping until December 23. Yep. I am that kind of shopper. Nonetheless, we got everything on the kiddos lists.  Score one for us.

I can really feel how the busyness of life truly interferes with a spiritual life.  I have to admit that I have not been where I want to be in my walk with Christ. I will be the first to admit that I am struggling with contentment at the moment, so I guess I have been taking it out of God.  He can handle it, but just so you know, grudges with God doesn't really develop into anything positive.

People who know me know me for two things and neither of them positive. 1. I cry A LOT.  I don't cry from depression; I cry from compassion, empathy, sympathy, happiness, sadness, anger. I think you get the picture. 2. I share too much information when it comes to my family's financial troubles.  It has become a bad habit.   These two things have greatly led to my issue with contentment.  I hate both of these things.  Hate is a strong word, but I am not happy about either one for sure.  You would think that I would be used to number 1, because I have been that way my entire life.  Wish I knew why. The financial issues stem from downturn in economy about the same time we decided to only have one main income coming into the home so I could stay with the kids.  Every once in a while, I sub, and bless those moments, but I keep wondering what I can learn through these thin times.  

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